A Return to Detroit

It's vacation time and after 18 months in France, I returned to the USA for 44 days. Vacation in the winter takes a lot of effort, so after several months of anticipation and reflection, I planned a modest agenda of visiting family and friends in Detroit, East Lansing, Kalamazoo, and Cincinnati; reading books; writing blogs; meditating; eating foods I can't get in France; seeing as many movies as possible; and going on a nine-day Amtrak train trip to the West. I was a woman on a mission, but I would find many surprises and insights along the way that would inspire me as I took the next steps in my life's journey.

First stop: my sister's house in the Detroit area. Denise, John (her spouse), hosted me during much of my visit. We started out celebrating Christmas and spent New Year's Eve together with Joyce, a childhood friend from Flint Street days, joined 

 
New Year's Eve began with appetizers. We saw A Star Is Born with Lady Gaga and had Chinese food at Dale Yee's, a tradition Denise and John started years ago. I was glad to be with them on this special night. 


 

Joyce made a delicious cherry cheesecake for dessert. 

 

I had pop corn at the movies, one of the things I haven't been able to do in France because I don't go to the movies--yet. I need more advance French language capability first.

 Denise and I have always been close, but we became our best supporters after our mother died in 1970. It has been our good fortune to always be there for each other in good times and bad. 

During my time at their house, Denise, John, and I frequently went mall walking. I'd heard of people doing this, but never tried it myself. Not bad! 


I spent a weekend with my nephew, Kevin, and his wife, Jennifer, in Cincinnati. They showed me around the city and shared meals like pizza, empanada, hamburgers--and Belgian waffles. They asked me not to picture them on FaceBook or my blog for personal reasons, so I have showcased our time together on a separate blog posting entitled "Cincinnati."

My nephew and I have always been close. When he was a boy, I took him to coffee shops, movies, and bookstores. These days, he takes me to breweries and restaurants, and he helps me with my computer and cell phone. I am very proud of him for his achievements and for the man he has become. He is my best! 

Denise and John are very active at their local parish. Together they coordinate the RCIA program. Denise also hosts the funeral lunch program; food baskets for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter; wedding rehearsals. She also volunteers at hospice and the surgery center of St. Mary's Hospital. Here's Denise serving pizza at her local parish, which sponsors a pizza party on the first Saturday of the month. She is one busy woman with a big and generous heart, and a whiz for organizing!!


Friends
I met with several friends, some of whom I'd had for decades! To keep such long-term relationships these days isn't easy since people are so far-flung all over the globe. However, we have kept up these relationships out of a bond for each other and some kind of soul-filled connection. I didn't realize I had such friendships until this week. Each encounter was different. Each friend was different. I ended up understanding that I was indeed fortunate to have such friends.

Marge and Beth and I entered the Sisters of St. Joseph in 1975. Patty and Bobbie were also part of our class, although they are not pictured here. They live in North Carolina and Colorado, respectively. We talked to both of them separately on Skype during our weekend visit together. 

There was a 20-year gap when we lost touch, but Beth (center) got us all back together again. We had all left the convent and were leading professional lives in various places. We have since taken a trip to North Carolina to see Patty at her home. Bobbie, who lives in Colorado, visits Michigan every once in a while. One year we all got together for dinner on the east side of Detroit. That's when I announced I would teach at Michigan State University and Marge, who lives in E. Lansing, offered to put me up at her home. Such friends are priceless treasures, and I think we each feel fortunate to have kept our friendship alive over the years.

I spent an afternoon with Sr. Jeanne, who I've known since 1975. She was a teacher, hospital chaplain, missionary in Peru and Nicaragua. She now works with hospice and tutors kids in an after-school program. Jeanne is one of the most solid, wise, and loving persons I know. She treated me to lunch at Nello's on Woodward Avenue and talked about how Detroit is slowing renewing itself into a vibrant city albeit different from what it was the first half of the 20th century. She plays a part in that renewal just by living on her block with four other sisters. It's all about presence whether it be for a person or a city. Growth happens when people care about each other and the place where they live and work. Jeanne is a model of this concept.

Carol is a newer friend of mine, but I just couldn't come all the way from France without seeing her. She is the mother of one of my first students at Kalamazoo College--who later married one of my other students. Carol is a quiet and spiritually-deep soul who knows how to listen to others and be supportive of them. We met at a Weber Center weekend program in Adrian and found a spiritual bond. We talked about all sorts of things and offered each other a sounding board for our thoughts. Our relationship really developed when I was working at Michigan State University and she offered her home to me on teaching nights. Carol is one in a million. 


Mary and I go back to the early 1990s when we went to grad school at Michigan State University. She has always invited me to spend the night at her home where we talk about politics, history, school, and travel. Mary was a big-time politico in Oakland County and she remains my go-to person for understanding today's politics. She tells the best stories with her Irish wit, years of world travel, and a lifetime as a public school history teacher. One of her early projects was to help organize John F. Kennedy's visit in 1960 to the University of Michigan campus where he announced his desire to start the Peace Corps. Mary subsequently joined the Peace Corps after college and went to Kenya. Mary keeps me up on the best history books and bought me Colin Woodard's book, American Nations, Paula McLain's book (à la the film, Out of Africa) entitled Circling the Sun. She also gave me some red slippers, half a dozen toothbrushes, and some leftover euros. Mary is one of the most generous persons in the world, a true friend, and one of the best grandmothers that ever lived.   

Books and Films
Denise gave me Michelle Obama's book, Becoming, as a Christmas present. I read it in a week. The book also seemed to set the theme for my vacation. Michelle struggled to find herself, her place in her marriage, and her life as First Lady. Even though she had it all (brains, beauty, education, a career, a husband, children), with each step she had to come to terms with her soul and her situations that she could not control. The main lesson she learned is that we are all becoming--forever--until we die. It's too easy to forget that even super-stars need time to define themselves and prepare for the next stage of their life's journey. So, this book was inspirational for me at my age where I am trying to define my next stage of life--post-career but not yet retired.

My sister and I also saw a couple biographical movies that addressed this same theme of "becoming."

The film about Ruth Bader Ginsburg's early days as a lawyer, On the Basis of Sex, was my favorite. She had to fight for her place as a lawyer in a man's world. And, not only did she fulfill her own dream, she had a much bigger plan: to evolve the law so that American women (51 percent of the population) could pursue their dreams and enjoy the full rights of citizenship as well. Here's the trailer of the film. The last scene of the film is the most emotional. It reminded me that many women have worked hard and sacrificed much to advance women's rights in this country. We must never take those rights or the struggle to obtain them for granted.

Tony Lip in 2010

Dr. Don Shirley

Green Book illustrates the development of the relationship between Dr. Don Shirley, a world-class, African-American pianist, and Tony Lip, his earthy, Italian-American driver who is a bouncer at New York's Copacabana Club. During his lay off from the Club. Tony accompanies Shirley on a tour of the Deep South, which Shirley has planned in order to help white people see a different kind of Black man than they imagine. Both men are caught up in this racist world with all its hooks and traps. The film illustrates how they found their way through it by forming a friendship of respect and empathy for each other's lives and circumstances. Here's the trailer.  

 I also saw a two-hour film about Jane Fonda called Five Acts, which spoke to me as I move into senior-hood. The film show how she grew from a lonely girl in a disfunctional family into a woman still growing and learning how to be true to herself.  "This is the beginning of my last act," she says. "In order to know how to go forward, I'm going to have to know where I've been." 

 

I also watched a Ken Burns' documentary presentation on Mark Twain's life. He was a successful author, commentator, and world traveler who overcame some pretty sad family circumstances through writing and speaking. 

Stan and Ollie is a film about an enduring friendship between Laural and Hardy, the world's greatest comedy team. They face an uncertain future, however, as their golden era of Hollywood films remain long behind them. Diminished by age, the duo set out to reconnect with their adoring fans by touring variety halls in Britain in 1953. The shows become an instant hit, but Stan and Ollie can't quite shake the past as long-buried tension and Hardy's failing health start to threaten their precious partnership. The depth of their friendship for each other, however, overshadows their animosity. Even after Ollie dies in 1957, Stan continues to write comedy routines for the duo until his death in 1965. Here's the trailer.

Food
One day my sister served our family's sauce recipe with pasta. On another day we had pizza from the Italian bakery near her house. She gave me my own bag of Better Made potato chips for a Christmas present. (Better Made is a local Detroit product in business since 1930.) I started making up for lost eating time right at the start of my vacation.
 

One day I ate a Koegel's hot dog covered with a crunchy casing and lemon orzo soup at Laurel Park Coney Island. Of course, this feed was only after I had spent an hour mall walking.

One of my few cravings for American food after spending four months in France was cinnamon buns. While I was in Cincinnati visiting my nephew and his wife, we stopped at the Coffee Emporium, and I got my fill of the tasty pastry.

Don't get me wrong; the food in France is excellent. I have enjoyed everything EXCEPT fois gras, but then I never liked liver in any form. In general, I haven't missed the food back home. Only occasionally, do I feel like having a hamburger. Invariably, I'd order a hamburger at a restaurant, but like the pizza, it was just never the same as it was in the USA--and it's not usually char-grilled. Sometimes I'd stop at McDonald's for a Big Mac and fries. This was indeed strange because I never ate at McDonald's at home! What I really miss, however, was a char-grilled hamburger. I got my wish in Cincinnati at Zip's, a locally-owned, down-home joint where the locals go. My hamburger and fries were indeed the real thing!

 

Then there's the Chinese food. France has Chinese food, but it is French Chinese food, not American Chinese food. The taste is good, but they don't serve my favorites like sweet and sour pork or boneless almond chicken. Neither do they offer many vegetable dishes. I got my fill at Dale Yee's restaurant in Livonia on New Year's Eve. Delicious and so satisfying!

won-ton soup

Sweet & sour chicken with fried rice

egg roll with bean sprouts