Saying Good-bye to Family



Scott Fountain on Belle Isle

My nephew & niece-in-law, Kevin and Jen came to Detroit for a weekend visit to see me off to France. We ate much, talked much and enjoyed each other's company.

 

  

something cheesy good at Lucy and the Wolf restaurant in Northville and my hamburger and salad dinner

ffmy hamburger and salad   

   famous complimentary doughnuts of the house

Drinks at Granite City Food and Brewery in Northville with Denise and John and a visit from Vishu, Kevin's University of Michigan classmate.

 


Sunday breakfast of chicken & waffles at Kuzzo's in Detroit--a must-do treat

 

Some  more quality time at the new and improved Belle Isle, now a designated state park. Here is the bridge to Belle Isle with the Detroit skyline in the background                                                                            

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some interesting people we saw in the park

 

                             

some nice portraits to keep

As my days at home wound down, Denise and I had some time to spend together walking down Memory Lane starting with our neighborhood in Melvindale and with our parents' graves.




 

our home on Flint Street where we grew up




Mom and Dad's graves

graveyard at the Field, located at the end of our street;
it served as our playground
 







Bobby and Michael's house and my best friend, Charlene's house

Best friend, Patty's house

 

Aunt Frances & Uncle Marcel's house where we spent many good times

 

 

 



Our grandparents' house, a block away from ours

Melvindale High School

We saw the former site of Dasher Junior High with the football field in background

 

 We visited our high school band leader's grave, Mr. Naumoff

 

 

 

 We saw the movie Paris Can Wait, a perfect preparation formy new life there. It was at my favorite theatre, the Phoenix

We had lunch at our favorite Chines restaurant, Dale Yee's

 
We visited the site of our old parish, St. Conrad's

We visited our old Church, Dearborn Woods United Presbyterian Church

 






house of Mrs. Williams, 6th grade teacher who inspired my interest in the United Nations and things international




neighborhood view of the ever-present Ford Rouge Plant, the source of middle class jobs

 

 

Dinner with Uncle Mario with cousins Paul and Mary and husband, Dan



Joyce and Minnie, long-time Flint neighborhood friends with steak dinner

We went to Mass together one last time.

John and Denise lit a candle for me. This was VERY touching and I was not only moved but overwhelmed by their gesture of love and support.

We sipped cappucino at Cantoro's one last time.

We had dinner together one last time....and it turned out to be a Christmas-in-July dinner with traditional family servings of spedini, sausage and broccoli.

My plan was to take a suitcase, duffle bag and purse--and I did it!

 

Final good-byes were happy but tearful.

Denise is a teacher and she knows how to plan activities and events. She went all out for me during these last days at home. She made them fun and memorable. I love her for that; but more importantly, I love her for who she is and the fact that she is my sister forever!


 

One Last Good-bye from the Sisters at Nazareth

Several sisters met me at the loading dock where I rolled the last of my worldly goods in a cart down the walkway and to the car. I was leaving Nazareth after spending one month with the sisters and going to go to Detroit to spend a few days with my family. The sisters sang a Nazareth song and we said good-bye. It was a bittersweet moment for they were happy about my new mission in France and the fact that I was representing them, but they were genuinely sad to see me go. Meanwhile, I knew I would miss them for they have always treated me with a warm and welcoming spirit of joy whether I was with them as a member, as a friend, as an employee in the History Room or as an associate member of the Congregation. Such a relationship is rare but it is a wonderful gift to have from such great women as the Sisters of St. Joseph of Nazareth.

Betty, former SSJ president, went to the loading dock to see me off at 10 a.m. (my original departure time) but found no one there. She then went to the train station (where I had told her I was leaving Kalamazoo), but I wasn't there either. I had changed my departure time to 1 p.m. and was going in one of the sisters' cars. As it happened, Betty drove by the dock at that time on an errand and found the send-off party. What luck! 

A few days earlier Betty had invited me to brunch, which meant a lot to me. She had been in leadership when I entered and when I left. She had always encouraged and supported me over the years and consistently gave me good, practical advice about many different things.


On this last day at Nazareth I also happened to see Sister Irene one more time. (She was president when I entered and the official witness when I left.) A couple months before when I told Irene I had an opportunity to live and work in Le Puy, she instantly said that I was well-suited for that work. Her response really bucked up my confidence and confirmed that what I was attempting was the right. That's the way the Spirit works--through other people.

Both Betty and Irene are my models of good leadership, bar none. And even though they are not in leadership now, they still exude those qualities. The two of them gave me a framed picture (by Sister M. Madeleva Williams, CSJ of Orange) that bore the following observation:

Joseph of his plans--

all that was left was broken.

Yet he learned what was left was enough.

I keep this gift on my desk in Le Puy to remember Betty and Irene, the sisters, and the charism of our patron. May it guide me in my new ministry to the sisters I will live with, to the local people in Le Puy and all of our guests at the International Centre.

Sr. Lois, my mentor, friend, teacher and confidant was there, too, to see me off. Earlier on that day, she had given me her spot for an hour-long massage, which was very relaxing. She usually knows what I need before I do, and I really appreciated her recognition that maybe I was a little tense with all the preparations of the past 2 months. We have known each other since 1973 when she gave me instructions into the Catholic faith. She was also my inspiration for entering the Sisters of St. Joseph at Nazareth. 

For most of her ministry Lois has been in Detroit while I lived in Kalamazoo, so we saw each other only rarely. About 4 years ago she went to Nazareth to live, so we had the opportunity to visit more often. We would share a meal together at Nazareth and sometimes go off-campus to South Haven, Saugatuck, Paw Paw, Fenville and in town. 

When I got a job at Nazareth's History Room, we shared many a lunch together--along with several other sisters whom I had known for a long time, like Sr. Pat Mullen, who was instrumental in helping me find a couple jobs, and Sr. Kathlene, who I had lived with several times including my first mission at Lake Orion.



Sisters Peg, Mary Louise, Mary Joan, Marty and Lois






Pat, Lois and I had ice cream floats at the Root Beer Stand on the last night before I sold my car. They are both always game for some fun and I'll not forget this fun night.




I also had a chance to say good-bye to Sr. Kathlene, too, who was also a part of the table before she went to Borgess Gardens (assisted living). We had a chance to talk over old times and laugh again about them. Kathlene has both the gift of gab and that great sense of Irish humor to keep things in a small community light and fun. I will never forget her for her kindness and patience with me during my "rookie" years in the community. I learned much from her about compassion. We parted our visit with an emotional hug. 



I had planned to take the train to Detroit, but alas I still had too much stuff. Fortunately, I consulted Sr. Mary Claver at breakfast on the day I was to go, and she suggested that I talk to Georgiana. 
Fortunately, Georgiana had planned to go to the Detroit area for a funeral, and she was kind enough to drop me off at my sister's house nearby. Her offer was like so many things that came to me as I prepared for this trip: a seemingly insurmountable problem would be solved after a little time passed. (It was one of the most important lessons I learned during this time of transition. I carry it with me to France.)

So as Georgiana and I climbed into a packed car, I got one last wave good-bye from the sisters as well as the profound realization that I have been truly loved.

One Last Good Bye from the Sisters

Several sisters met me at the loading dock where I rolled the last of my worldly goods in a cart down the walkway and to the car. I was leaving Nazareth after spending one month with the sisters and going to go to Detroit to spend a few days with my family. The sisters sang a Nazareth song and we said good-bye. It was a bittersweet moment for they were happy about my new mission in France and the fact that I was representing them, but they were genuinely sad to see me go. Meanwhile, I knew I would miss them for they have always treated me with a warm and welcoming spirit of joy whether I was with them as a member, as a friend, as an employee in the History Room or as an associate member of the Congregation. Such a relationship is rare but it is a wonderful gift to have from such great women as the Sisters of St. Joseph of Nazareth.

Betty, former SSJ president, went to the loading dock to see me off at 10 a.m. (my original departure time) but found no one there. She then went to the train station (where I had told her I was leaving Kalamazoo), but I wasn't there either. I had changed my departure time to 1 p.m. and was going in one of the sisters' cars. As it happened, Betty drove by the dock at that time on an errand and found the send-off party. What luck!

A few days earlier Betty had invited me to brunch, which meant a lot to me. She had been in leadership when I entered and when I left. She had always encouraged and supported me over the years and consistently gave me good, practical advice about many different things.


On this last day at Nazareth I also happened to see Sister Irene one more time. (She was president when I entered and the official witness when I left.) A couple months before when I told Irene I had an opportunity to live and work in Le Puy, she instantly said that I was well-suited for that work. Her response really bucked up my confidence and confirmed that what I was attempting was the right. That's the way the Spirit works--through other people.

Both Betty and Irene are my models of good leadership, bar none. And even though they are not in leadership now, they still exude those qualities. The two of them gave me a framed picture (by Sister M. Madeleva Williams, CSJ of Orange) that bore the following observation:

Joseph of his plans--

all that was left was broken.

Yet he learned what was left was enough.

I keep this gift on my desk in Le Puy to remember Betty and Irene, the sisters, and the charism of our patron. May it guide me in my new ministry to the sisters I will live with, to the local people in Le Puy and all of our guests at the International Centre.

Sr. Lois, my mentor, friend, teacher and confidant was there, too, to see me off. Earlier on that day, she had given me her spot for an hour-long massage, which was very relaxing. She usually knows what I need before I do, and I really appreciated her recognition that maybe I was a little tense with all the preparations of the past 2 months. We have known each other since 1973 when she gave me instructions into the Catholic faith. She was also my inspiration for entering the Sisters of St. Joseph at Nazareth.

For most of her ministry Lois has been in Detroit while I lived in Kalamazoo, so we saw each other only rarely. About 4 years ago she went to Nazareth to live, so we had the opportunity to visit more often. We would share a meal together at Nazareth and sometimes go off-campus to South Haven, Saugatuck, Paw Paw, Fenville and in town. 

When I got a job at Nazareth's History Room, we shared many a lunch together--along with several other sisters whom I had known for a long time, like Sr. Pat Mullen, who was instrumental in helping me find a couple jobs, and Sr. Kathlene, who I had lived with several times including my first mission at Lake Orion.



Sisters Peg, Mary Louise, Mary Joan, Marty and Lois






Pat, Lois and I had ice cream floats at the Root Beer Stand on the last night before I sold my car. They are both always game for some fun and I'll not forget this fun night.




I also had a chance to say good-bye to Sr. Kathlene, too, who was also a part of the table before she went to Borgess Gardens (assisted living). We had a chance to talk over old times and laugh again about them. Kathlene has both the gift of gab and that great sense of Irish humor to keep things in a small community light and fun. I will never forget her for her kindness and patience with me during my "rookie" years in the community. I learned much from her about compassion. We parted our visit with an emotional hug. 



I had planned to take the train to Detroit, but alas I still had too much stuff. Fortunately, I consulted Sr. Mary Claver at breakfast on the day I was to go, and she suggested that I talk to Georgiana.
Fortunately, Georgiana had planned to go to the Detroit area for a funeral, and she was kind enough to drop me off at my sister's house nearby. Her offer was like so many things that came to me as I prepared for this trip: a seemingly insurmountable problem would be solved after a little time passed. (It was one of the most important lessons I learned during this time of transition. I carry it with me to France.)

So as Georgiana and I climbed into a packed car, I got one last wave good-bye from the sisters as well as the profound realization that I have been truly loved.

 

 

Remembering Good Friends

There has been a lot of letting-go of things as I prepared for my move to France, but nothing has been more difficult than leaving friends behind. What makes it a little easier is all the support and encouragement they have given me. So here are my friends who are with me on the journey.

Lisa, Nazareth History Room colleague, who dubbed me Madame Beaubien

Peggy, a faithful prayer buddy and great woman of hospitality

Mary, grad school buddy and ace politico, with her grandson

Max the Magnificent makes a do, do

Levi, acupuncturist who readied me for France

fellow CSJ Associates and prayer circle friends

Sr. Sue, great conversationalist and artist, with Emmy

Teddy Bear, Sr. Sue's other cat, who I stayed with for a wonderful week

Sr. Maureen who really knows how to inspire even in early morning prayers

Button, Sr. Maureen's cat

Bow, Sr. Maureen's other cat

me with a guiding light, St. Joseph at Nazareth

Sr. Pam, who helped me "leap" into the CSJ Associate Program

 Sr. Rita Ann, who helped me obtain my visa

Best leaders I know, Sr. Betty and Sr. Irene

Mentor and teacher, Sr Lois ushered me into the Catholic faith and the SSJs

Sister-in-law, Tracy, fellow traveler and believer in "Under the Tuscan Sun" who gave me a little push toward France

The Sisters of the lunch table at Nazareth, among the many sisters who were great sources of love and support

Best neighbors ever who put on a farewell party for me at Martell's

Dean, philosopher, businesswomen and friend with an attitude

Jack and Joan, always ready for fishing, Tiger baseball and a helping hand

Jan and Jacquo make our neighborhood great

Anita and Darby, next door neighbors and constant companions

Letting Go of "The Toaster" -- and Everything Else

Handing over the keys to "the Toaster" to my friend, Dave

Preparing to spend the next two years at the International Centre in Le Puy has been a mix of excitement, detachment and hard work over these past two months. At times I felt as though I were free floating in space and at other times I was just focused on getting things done.

The opportunity to live and work in France has been a lifelong dream and when it seemed as though I’d never finish emptying my condo, dealing with paperwork or packing light, I’d think about that dream and keep moving.

Signing over the title to the new owners

I thought I lived simply in my three-story condo, but found out I had accumulated much stuff over the years. So I divided my worldly goods into four groups: things to sell, things to give away, things to store, things to take with me to France. Since I calculated that upon my return to the USA I would live in a much smaller living space, it was easier to detach myself from my 54-inch dining room table. Electronic equipment might not survive two years of storage, so out that went. Clothes that had been hanging in my closet for years without use were obvious give-aways. However, the hardest things to unload were the countless scrapbooks of photos, published newspaper and magazine articles, travel slides and many books, so I saved them together with my bulky TV that had both DVD and video capability.

Then there was my car. While it was going to a good cause (my friends were giving the car to their 25-year-old niece who is trying to start her life again) and I was getting my hoped-for price for it, it meant a loss of freedom of movement and maybe a bit of my identity since it was a distinctive boxy car that looked like a toaster. Since my car was one of the last things I did in this whole down-sizing process, perhaps it made me face the reality that I was leaving everything familiar and about to steep myself in a new culture, a new language, a new continent and a new experience.  Once I step on that plane, however, I’ll be ready for a new adventure, a new identity and a new way of life, so I’m up for the task!

The keys on my key chain have gradually disappeared: no car, no condo, no furniture, no job, nothing but the freedom to pursue a new adventure without being burdened with lots of stuff.